Japan points out differences between people, America allows freedom
I met Kei Mikal Payne when I interviewed her about the business she started in 2021 after the death of her husband. Kei's husband was diagnosed with cancer in January 2020 and passed away in March of the same year. After a short but intense period of caring for him, Kei was left behind in the United States with her young son, who was only four and a half years old.
Keiko moved to the United States just four years before her husband's death. "My husband and I met in Japan and got married in 2013. After our child was born, he wanted to move to the United States for his family, and I agreed with his decision." The place Keiko and her family chose to base their US operations in Orange County, California.
However, that was not her first time in America. She recalls that about 20 years before she moved to the U.S. with her husband and children, she had lived in a homestay in Florida for a year.
"I'm half Japanese, my father is Japanese and my mother is Chinese and naturalized in Japan. After graduating from high school, I was invited by a Chinese acquaintance of my mother who lived in Florida and I ended up staying with her. I had an innocent personality until I was in elementary school, but when I was in the upper grades, I invited friends over to my house and they told me, 'Your mother's Japanese is so halting,' and made fun of the Chinese-style decorations in our house. This triggered me to become withdrawn. However, I didn't blame my mother at the time, and I did wonder why (my friends) pointed out the things that made me different from other people. However, when I experienced life in America at the end of my teens, all my doubts and worries were resolved. It was a spark inside me that made me realize that it was okay to be this free, and that it was okay to be different from other people."
Death of husband during pandemic
Having learned the importance of being yourself in America, a diverse society, Kei returned to Japan and worked in several jobs before finally finding a job in the recruitment industry, which she describes as her "calling." In 2010, she joined the British recruitment company Hays, where she started her career as an associate consultant, achieving the top five sales rankings in Asia, and eventually gained management experience. Hays is a global recruitment company with over 250 locations worldwide and a total of over 12,000 employees. After leaving Hays to move to the US with her husband, she launched CAREER BRAIN, which handles recruitment and human resource development at the request of clients.
However, her husband's death caused her to stop and think about her future.
"First of all, I found it difficult to accept his death. My husband and I had an independent relationship, and we were like comrades who respected each other. After losing such a precious person, I had no choice but to live on because we had children, but I was driven to the point where I wanted to end my life without my husband. In May and June, when all the posthumous procedures were completed, my hair was messy, my face was a mess, and I was in such a daze that I couldn't even remember the last time I had eaten a meal. Losing my husband was a really major turning point. I realized the destructive power that was sweeping away everything we had built up until that point. I also felt anger at why I had to go through such a thing. My anger outweighed my sadness. I didn't want to see people at the time, so it may sound like a reckless thing to say, but it was a time when we were staying at home during the pandemic, so I think I was saved (from having to see people)."
I want to focus on "loss care"
Kei says that she has overcome the difficult times and is currently working on several projects. The first is a human resource introduction and training business through the aforementioned CAREER BRAIN, LLC. "I will work hard to train young people in particular, and also provide coaching for companies and individuals," Kei says enthusiastically. Next, as an NLP Master Practitioner, which she plans to obtain certification in the near future, she will begin providing inner child therapy and grief care (care for people who have lost a loved one and are overcome with a sense of loss). NLP stands for "Neuro Linguistic Programming," and it is said that by learning this program, people can effectively deal with people's thoughts and emotions. In particular, Kei, who has experienced the death of her husband, says that she would like to focus on "grief care and loss care."
Furthermore, as a personality on the New York-based internet radio show "Sakura Radio," she introduces Japanese picture books that are good for reading to children, and this year she also takes on a new role as host of a talk show with a Japanese doctor.
When I asked Kei, who has now begun to walk towards the future, about what has changed since coming to America, he answered as follows. "Right now, I don't think of it as being separate, whether it's Japan or America. Wherever I am, it's important to think about what I can do in that environment." Also, with the increased use of online meetings during the pandemic, in the future, he will be able to do not only his human resources business but also the counseling he is about to start, no matter where he is in the world. "I don't know how many years I'll be in America. I might move next month, or I might move to Japan. It might be good to move to various places without deciding on a base, and doing so might help my son develop the ability to deal with situations."
She has not only overcome the death of a loved one, but she is also moving forward to use her experience to help others in similar situations.
© 2022 Keiko Fukuda
