Presence of children, medical care, language

We spoke to people who emigrated to the United States and then returned to Japan, as well as people who had returned to Japan but then returned to the United States, and we also spoke to people who had decided to make the United States their final home, about their decision.

Mr. T, a man in his 70s who has lived in the US for 50 years, said he studied languages ​​in the US and wanted to become a film critic when he returned to Japan. However, three years after he arrived, his father passed away. "My mother had already passed away before I came to the US, so I felt there was no reason for me to return to Japan without my parents. So I got sponsored by my employer, got a green card, got married, and had three children. When I was young, I didn't really think about returning to Japan. But when I thought about whether Japan or America was better for my children's education, I came to the conclusion that the free US was better than Japan, where entrance exams are the only priority."

Even as they grew older, did they ever think of returning to Japan? "There are three factors that Japanese people consider when deciding whether to leave the US for Japan. The first is whether they have children. The second is medical and insurance issues. The third is language. In our case, our children themselves chose to live in the US. In terms of medical care, we are over 65 and have Medicare (a government-run health insurance system) and supplemental insurance, so we have been able to keep our out-of-pocket expenses low. People who say that medical costs are high are probably comparing it with the cheaper costs in Japan, or they are people who need to take medicine continuously, because most medicines are not covered by insurance. As for language, even if you have lived in the US for a long time, it is difficult to explain the details of your symptoms to doctors in English. However, most medical facilities now provide interpretation services, which is a relief."

In other words, in Mr. T's case, there are no major obstacles to spending his retirement years in the U.S. "However, I do sometimes think about what would happen if my wife died first. I can't rely on my children for help, so maybe I would go back to Japan? No, by then all my siblings would probably be gone, so I probably wouldn't go back to Japan after all."

Next, we spoke with T's wife, S. Her thoughts were even clearer. "I have no attachment to Japan. I don't want to live here. I came to America 50 years ago. I was immediately captivated by the freedom of America. I was moved to find out that such a wonderful place existed. I come from a rural area in Japan, so ever since I was a child I always felt confined by the neighbors watching me. I also have a younger brother from a different mother, and he came to America with the promise that he would take care of the household, so I never had to go back to Japan. Now, life here has become normal. However, if there's one thing that's difficult about living in America, it's that I can't speak English as well as Americans do. Still, by attending cultural clubs and interacting with the other members, I can feel like I'm part of the group."

The couple also obtained American citizenship 20 years ago. Ms. S. recalled that this was a big turning point for her.

Something Better Than Homesickness

Next, Ms. A, a professional woman who I've known for 25 years, told me her reasons for staying in America. Ms. A came to America in 1973 to study the language. "I had planned to return to Japan after studying English, but I ended up marrying an American man here and having two children. However, a few years later, 40 years ago, I got divorced. At that time, I didn't decide to return to Japan with my children. First of all, even though I had separated from my husband, his family who lived nearby had been very kind to me, and I thought that even if I returned to Japan with my children, I would probably not be able to find a job in Japan at that time. At first, I sent my children to a Japanese language school, but as a single mother busy with work, I didn't have the physical or mental strength to take them to school on Saturday mornings, so they were unable to learn Japanese. Looking back now, I regret that I didn't put in enough effort as a mother."

She also said that while her mother in Japan was alive, she considered returning home, as her children had grown up. "But I hesitated, thinking it would be difficult for me to take care of my mother on my own, and so I never returned. My mother passed away six years ago at the age of 91. When my mother was healthy, we enjoyed traveling together, but now I regret that I was selfish when she needed my help. Also, when I told a friend of the same age about my plan to return to Japan, they said, 'Why do you need to go back to Japan when your children are nearby? You'll end up all alone if you go back to Japan.' My children live nearby, and they took care of me when I injured my leg. My friend thought it was strange to return to Japan alone when I was in such a fortunate environment."

When she was unsure about returning to Japan, she had talked to her children about it, but they didn't seem to take it seriously. "My son and daughter are my best friends. Going shopping with them, cooking, and eating together is what makes me happiest," she said.

Mr. T mentioned three factors that determined whether he would stay in the US or return to Japan. Mr. A, who has no worries about medical expenses because he receives Medicare, speaks English as well as Japanese as a professional, and says that spending time with his children is what makes him happiest, does not seem to have any reason to return to Japan. However, when asked what he misses most about Japan, he answered as follows:

"I can't forget the good old Japan. The rice fields, the seasonal flowers, the rain, picking mugwort leaves to make mugwort mochi, hanging dried persimmons, eating freshly dug bamboo shoots... I miss all those little things so much." Still, her longing for Japan is irreplaceable, as is the time she can spend with her children.

© 2020 Keiko Fukuda