Became a dental hygienist at Yokota Air Base and eloped with her husband
Kaoru, who currently works as an esthetician in Virginia, was born in Tachikawa, a suburb of Tokyo, in 1964, the year of the last Tokyo Olympics.
"Every morning, I would watch travel programs on TV before going to school. In my elementary school graduation album, I wrote that I wanted to become a journalist. I dreamed of traveling the world and making a name for myself."
After graduating from high school, the girl with dreams of the world attended dental hygienist school and obtained her qualifications. Then, her uncle, who works at Yokota Air Base, a U.S. military base, told her that the base was looking for dental hygienists. "I've been familiar with the base since I was a child. I used to go to the annual festival on the base." Kaoru began working at the dental clinic on the base, as Yokota was closer to her than her previous workplace in Kanda.
"I couldn't speak English at the time. (Japanese) school studies are centered around grammar, so I had no confidence in my conversation skills."
Kaoru was first hired as an assistant and a year later began working as a dental hygienist, when she met her future husband, James Holiday, who worked in accounting on the base.
"I was 24 when we met, and he is seven years older than me. I met him, who was also a patient of mine, at a Christmas party, and we started dating after that."
Looking back, she says that the deciding factor was James's perseverance. "Most other Americans would get tired of me and not explain things to me when I didn't understand what they were saying and had to ask again. But he would explain things properly until I understood." And after six years of dating, they eloped and got married. If you marry someone in the military, it's unlikely that you'll be able to stay in Japan after that. Her parents didn't allow such a marriage. However, a year later, in 1995, when their eldest daughter, Simone, was born, her parents' attitude softened. "My daughter was a big factor. They started to accept me when I told them about the birth."
Should I go back to Japan or stay in America?
When Simone was six months old, he was transferred to Hawaii, and the time came for the Kaoru family to leave Japan. After three years in Hawaii and five more years in Germany, they moved to Virginia in 2002, and two years later James retired from the military.
"After that, my husband worked as a contractor on a base basis for a while, but he was laid off and started changing jobs frequently after that. That was what prompted me to start working. At first, I had wanted to get a dental hygienist's license in the United States, but I was content with my role as a housewife and mother and missed the opportunity. I thought it would have been better if I had gone to school, but I gave up because it took four years to become a dental hygienist. I obtained a license as a nail artist and then an esthetician license."
A few years after Kaoru started working, a turning point came in 2012. Her husband James suddenly died of a heart attack. Simone was a junior in high school. Kaoru was faced with great anxiety and choices about her future: "What should I do to make a living? Should I go back to Japan or stay?" During the time her husband was changing jobs frequently, they were not financially stable, and he had canceled his payments to receive a pension, so he could not expect to receive military benefits. When she checked the life insurance that her husband had, she discovered that he had canceled it without her knowledge.
"My parents in Japan told me to come back, but I decided to stay in the US for my daughter's education. My daughter can speak Japanese but cannot read or write it, and she is already in her third year of high school. For her sake, I decided to do my best and live in the US. At that time, I cannot put into words how much support I received from the Japanese people here. I was fortunate to have friends who treated me like family."
A daughter who became a cheerleader and a husband who was a football fan
Currently, Kaoru continues to work as an esthetician and pays her own mortgage. By acquiring a skill, she has been able to support her life in America with her eldest daughter. "I recently started doing makeup tattoos. Business is going well," she says.
Simone, who was active in the dance club in high school, majored in dance at the arts school she went on to attend. She also has another role as a cheerleader for the Philadelphia Eagles, the American football team that won the Super Bowl this year.
"At first, I didn't even know the rules of football. But I've finally come to understand the basics. I still get tickets to home games, so I go and support the team, even though I have seats in the upper part of the stadium."
The late James was a big football fan. "My daughter and I talk about how happy he would have been if he were alive to see Simone in action as a cheerleader." She also told us the following anecdote about James, which shows his personality. "He really loved to talk, and was the kind of person who could talk for hours even with someone he had just met. One thing he said that I'll never forget was, 'Japanese people get on the same commuter train at the same time every day, so why don't they talk to the people they're riding with?'" Hearing that, I thought he must have been a carefree and fun person.
Finally, when asked "Have you ever imagined a different life if you hadn't married your husband?", she answered as follows: "I think about it sometimes. I'm sure we would have had a normal marriage in Japan. But I don't regret my decision. My childhood dream of going out into the world has come true, and I've had some valuable experiences. Now I spend each day looking forward to seeing how my daughter will soar into the future."
© 2018 Keiko Fukuda
